In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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