If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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