I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He passed out mid-signature
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
