ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
