do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
