We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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