he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
