What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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