Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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