just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
