It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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