So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
