He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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