You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
