On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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