you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
