come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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