I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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