i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
