i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
