Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I still have a little drunk in my system
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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