id be glad to
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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