It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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