Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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