we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
