have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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