I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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