In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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