she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
