some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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