Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dicks are not precious.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
