I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
