we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
