there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I could make wine with my vomit
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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