Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
