Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
