Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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