yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
