My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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