you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
