Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
