Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
