Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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