We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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