Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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