I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
