I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
