How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my being single is dangerous.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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