Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
