he wants to bone in the snuggie
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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