sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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