You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
