Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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