That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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