my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
