I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
