yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
