STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
