She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize