I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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