Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
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Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize