do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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