Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
