I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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