Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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