I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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